Paddy a Job Interview

Strictly Over 18's only, The topics in this section contain adult humour.

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
allanjenkins
Posts: 284
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:17 am
TIPEC membership: 5518
Location: Newark Notts

Paddy a Job Interview

Post by allanjenkins »

Paddy wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" Paddy says? "Dat's easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.



"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says Paddy.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
Paddy stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree... "Ere ye go."



The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of them trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire Paddy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
Paddy stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere ye go. One hundred."



The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
Paddy leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, "A little dog came along and pooped by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!"


Paddy is the new supervisor.
WazzerM
Posts: 585
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:06 am
TIPEC membership: 6718
Location: South Kyme, Lincs.

Re: Paddy a Job Interview

Post by WazzerM »

Paddy goes for a job on a building site - interview day.

As part of the test Paddy's asked why there's an 'L' and an 'R' on a pair of working boots. Paddy doesn't know and is told "It's left and right".
He's asked why there's an 'F' and a 'B' on the safety helmet. Paddy doesn't know and is told "For heaven's sake - it's front and back!"
Paddy replies "Ah, no wonder my missus's knickers have got 'C & A' in 'em!"
Wazzer

'06 black Boxster 2.7 manual
New Ford Focus estate (Motability mile muncher)
[Previously '06 silver Cayman S manual]
allanjenkins
Posts: 284
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:17 am
TIPEC membership: 5518
Location: Newark Notts

Re: Paddy a Job Interview

Post by allanjenkins »

Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager. When the results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said, 'Thank you for coming to the interview, but We've decided to give the American the job.'

Murphy, 'And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.'

Manager, 'We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed.'

Murphy, 'And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?'

Manager, 'Simple. On question number 7 the American wrote down, 'I don't know.'

You put down, 'Neither do I.'
Post Reply