Porsche Enthusiasts Club Forum

My girlfriend always comes to my parents place with me so when she asked me to go to her Aunties I could not really say no.
First questions.
"Does your auntie have a driveway I can park on because I'm not leaving my car in the raod"
"Yes she does and will be fine with you parking on it"
"Are you sure because I know you suck at organising things"
"Yes I'm sure and it will be fine"

Cool, I thought and imagine my utter delight when I woke up on Saturday morning to see bright blue skies and warm sunshine.
A wash and sparkle was clearly on the cards.
So I gleefully spent the next three hours pissing about with my 944 (Tina) making her look beautiful and shiny.
It was so nice I was even contemplating removing the roof.
God job I didn't though because Mother Nature reared her ugly head again as the second I sat behind the wheel to head off the rain came.
And came in force too. The down pour was epic and despite being able to see nothing but clear blue skies through my windscreen the rain carried on.
So by the time I arrived at said aunties house poor old Tina was in a right state.
But it gets worse.
I drove down said aunties round and it is soon very apparent that the houses there do not come with driveways.
"Maria, where is your aunties house and where is the driveway"
"Oh that's her house there and she doesn't have a driveway"
"**** ******* **** ****** **** ****** ***** ******" (Or something to that effect is what I said next).

So I had to leave my poor old car dirty and dumped at the side of the road. The only place to park was behind a garage block which looked like it would be used after dark for nothing more than drug deals and teenage pregancies.
And the road was so small I had to stick my car up as close to the curb as possible.
Needless to say in my angry state as I inched closer to the curb I heard that all sickening sound of alloy meeting brick.
CRUNCH.
Ah man, I can't even begin to tell you how sick I felt.
This also got blamed firmly on my worse half as had I know there was no where to park, my Porsche would still be at home safe and well.
The day was awful. All I could think about all day was what kid was outside vandalising my baby. She stood out like a sore thumb down this little road. With her big hips pocking out into the road and her (although dirty to me) gleaming paint work shouting out to be scratched.

Needless to say that nothing did happen to her and she was safe and well when I drove home but the day will haunt me forever. And that scar on the rear wheel is a reminder to the badness of the event.

A wheel refurb is now another bill that I have to add onto all the others that are piling up at a rate of knots.

Sorry all, I wish I could write a happy tail but I had to get this off my chest. My poor girlfriend took a verbal battering on Saturday and to be fair, she doesn't get cars and the curbing was my fault.
We have kissed and made up now but the damage to Tina is done and my heart is broken.

Woe is you, not a happy tale (did you see what I did there?).

I know how I felt once when my new front near-side TSW Stealth alloy kerbed whilst doing a three-point turn in Stockport. The noise and the feel through the steering wheel just makes you sick, I think more at the aesthetic damage than the ensuing expense

That was fourteen years ago and I can still picture it now. I was getting distracted. I was giving a lift to a friend's lesbian daughter and her girlfriend. The friend's daughter was flirting with me, but the other one was getting jealous - I did a quick three-point turn because I was in a rush to drop them off before she kicked-off.... I didn't fancy my chances

Anyway, on a lighter note... we're all waiting to hear how the auntie was

By the way, how did you choose 'Tina' for the car's name?

Hmmm I love cars yes, but isn't the point of owning these old girls that it doesn't really matter the odd scratch or two. isn't the fun in owning, driving, maintaining and letting some modern chavs see what a proper car should look like.

I remember well going to pubs in London, always needing to be able to see the car parked over the road, and that was worth something then, the price of a new 944Turbo. the fact is life is precious and whether a day with the outlaws is important or not it sounds to me like a good forum tale but you also need to get a grip on whats important in life.

Anyway I read it and responded. good luck with the alloys, just sent 4 off £50 a cover, I hope they do a good job, some guys up in Carnoustie.

Maybe we should start up another thread and not tell Fife in case he chastises us. If he knew I didn't take the car
out in the rain I'd be in serious trouble. When the car was 5 years old I'd park her anywhere and not worry about it,
but now she's almost 18 I've started to worry a lot more. Boys just don't know how to treat a girl these days and
at 18 the temptation is just going to be too much for most of them.

My baby is 30 years old now. She's been round the block a few times and knows how to look after herself. I can take her anywhere and not worry about her, boys don't even give her a second look, they're too busy chasing 18 year olds!!

on the kerbed wheel. Seriously though cars are there to be driven Enjoy it

I don't like parking mine where there may be chance of it getting damaged, either.

You're not alone in trying to look after your car like that, but as I've just remembered - if they want to damage it they will do. Mine is the S2 with the dents up the bonnet and scratches up the windscreen where a (presumed) hoody in Wythenshawe threw the corner of a paving slab up it (I later found the piece complete with blue paint on it). Obviously I wasn't there or the Police would have had his / her name from the medical report and I would have ended up in trouble for assault.

It's always the way. I once arrested a yob who was stealing a car. There were three of them stealing an Astra GTE 16v, two ran off, I caught the third, banged him up against a wall, threw him to the ground and then dragged him inside and locked him in an office until the Police came. I received a nice round of applause from my work colleagues - although none of them had had the balls to help. It was all on CCTV - which the Police said they annoyingly couldn't use or they would have to do me for assault..... and they wonder why the country's going to ruin.

You are kidding Fife. I started off repainting & repairing a rear wing & ended up nearly doing the whole car!

Lots of good points here.
I'd just like to say that I did buy my car to drive it but there are times and places and times and places to park.
The curbed wheel was needless which is why I was so angry about it.
Still there is no harm in trying to keep a car neat and tidy I think.

On the plus side though, I fail to sympathise with Tri-mans troubles there. I got distracted as I had two lesbians in the car and one was coming onto me.
Man that sounds like one of my extra curricular movies that I own.

And Tina was picked by my worst half. I wanted Jamelia as I really fancy her and she's black (like Tina). Maria (My worst half) said Jamelia was not good and that Tina would be better after Tina Turner as she was also black and had just as good an ass.
I could not argue with that so Tina it is.

you have my sympathies.

My partner of 15 years treats our cars like dumper trucks. She just doesn't 'get' looking after anything whatsever. Everything gets treated equally roughly
Saying that I had a similar experience to you last year. I was travelling through our village at 30mph where there are several chicanes. The bollards are black and the kerb is concrete coloured so its difficult to see in daylight.
You have to watch cars on the opposite side of the chicanes very carefully as they jump through against the right of way all the time.

Bam!.. the front passenger Cup alloy smashes into the 5" high kerb (which is straight on to oncoming traffic) and the car becomes airborne for a few yards bang the rear passenger wheel clips the same kerb coming down on the far side of the chicane .......

Anyone got a spare Cup wheel for sale ?