Porsche Enthusiasts Club Forum

What a fantastic weekend.

It all started on Friday morning for me,
I was due to meet my friend Adam at 7am at the local Shell petrol station.
As usual i'm running a tad late (10 mins) but on a Friday rush hour with the M25 and M40 ahead of us that can be a vital 10 mins.
Adam is nowhere to be seen, I turns out he didn't read the 7am bit on the text last night

07:50
Adam arrives, fills his guest BMW up WITH DIESEL and we head off.
A£ / M25 jct is clear (result), get onto the M25 and that is clear (check phone to see if it is Friday)
M25 clear all the way to M40, that is clear too and we arrive at our meet point (Oxford services) 15 mins early.

Martin & Kim are already there but Martin tells me that Wazza has missed the turnoff (can't reach him by phone)
Gina arrives in the white 964 along with her other half Boxster-Al. Paul Mabley isn't heading our until the afternoon due to kids and school but pops by to wave us off on our NON motorway journey up to Betws -y - Coed Via the Pontcysyllte Aqueduct

We start with just a few and more to join en route


Finally we get a call from Wazza, "i'm waiting for you at Warwick services"
We agree to meet near Evesham

Nice roads en route to find Wazza and then a couple more hours until lunch.
We arrive at the Telford inn, where we find Dave (M555ssy) wiating for us. We stop for luch and an uneasy walk across the aquaduct.

Adam chatting to Sarah our host at the Telford Inn


The aquaduct




17:00
Finally we arrive at our hotel,



We are all farting around with our bags when Basil (I mean John) the owner comes out to greet us.
"will you lot stop F***ing about and come inside and i'll get you all a drink

John is erm............ You know, I still don't know how to describe John
Eccentric, weird, don't do him justice
After just 5 mins we are all a little shellshocked but we are all laughing and agree this could be an odd weekend.

That Panda was dirtier than a pub toilet!

Jason forgot to mention Basil (John) insisting we meet his dogs (big buggers) who, in unison, bounded forth and unleashed the entire contents of their bladders right before us with great gusto (the scene was set). Other highlights for us were: Saturday's almost dried breakfast that contained an egg that closely resembled a roman coin; Basil force feeding Adam dodgy looking prawn cocktails that were "only two weeks out of date"; Basil charging me £14 for a whole round of drinks (a figure he made up); the 45 different but simultaneous aromas that hit you in the face when you first went in; the deafening smoke alarm in the middle of the night and certainly Basil grabbing Sarah's watercress from her plate and literally throwing it on to mine saying 'Here's your bloody watercress!" after I enquired as to why she had some and I didn't.

We've been home a while now and can still smell the place. The steaks, ooooh the rock hard steaks, the flat, demoralised apple pie - it goes on. Good job we had a collective broad sense of humour otherwise all the other guests would've ........... oh, nearly forgot .............. there weren't any. What a laugh, what a bloody laugh!!!!

Thanks to Paul for the driving lesson and Jason tolerating my stupidity. Hope Al's feeling better!!!!!

20:00 Paul, Kerry and their two kids arrive and we try to fill them in about our host.

20:30
DINNER

We had all pre booked our main courses from a sort of list before the trip and had to choose the starters on the day.
Well, the majority had chosen fresh salmon (caught by the local poacher) or trout also caught locally but from a normal source.
Kerry was the only one to have ordered Chicken
Here's one i caught earlier
.

The starters started to arrive, (sorry i'm struggling to type as i'm laughing to myself)
Adam as a Pate placed (No No No, placed is not the correct term), thrust, thrown ??
dropped on to the table, excuse me i orderd Prawn Cocktail (stops typing to laugh again)
"Well i've made too much F**ing Pate, so have that as well" (wipes away tears and starts typing again)
We all look at each other and so it begins. Everybody is in fits of laughter and in tears.
My soup was very nice, Adam's Pate and 2 Prawn Cocktails seemed good too.

"Excuse me" came a voice from the other table "can I please have some toast with my pate"
I can't possibly type the reply for fear of my tears shorting out my keyboard.

Starter are now finished and the mains start to arrive, my Salmon looks plentiful, smells fresh and tastes great. The trout also looks good.
He then walks up to Kerry, and plonks a whole roast chicken (no veg) in front of her.
"Nobody else ordered chicken, so you can have it all"

We're all off again and unable to control ourselves

Next it's Adam's dinner (he ordered fish and chips)
"There you go fatty, It's Harry Ramsdens from M&S"

THESE ARE JUST SNIPPETS, IT WAS NON STOP

One of the kids had half a large pizza, ten mins later he came out with the other half and said you may as well have the whole thing, only trouble was it and been left in the oven and was blacker than the hairs on the plate.

In the meantime, Adam received another prawn cocktail and Kerry had started waitressing

PUDDINGS

First came the Cheesecake (oh F*ck, i'm wetting myself now)
"sorry, i forgot to take it out of the freezer and it's .... well"
BANG, a slice of the Antarctic Ice Shelf hit the table

Next a ..... i want to call it a Vienetta.... was put on the table.
This was also a bit too hard, so John had given it 30 seconds in the microwave

Our new waitress Kerry could barely walk from laughing as she arrived with new treasures.

At some point during the dinner service, two of the girls disappeared and came back giggling to themselves
But that's another story

To be continued .....................

I trust you guys have booked for next year then?????????

For the AGM

Sounds ideal, I know our chairman likes chicken

I think that makes 4 of us that have checked in here and known to be still alive

No problem at all, glad you enjoyed it. It wasn't much of a lesson though as although I have good experience based on solid instruction, I'm not qualified to teach.

You need to spend a day with the master who will really know how to get you to feel good in the car and from there it's a learning process every drive. He makes my attempt at car control look very average I can tell you!

http://www.drivetrain.uk.com/

Don't forget, it's all about getting you to where you wan't to be comfort and speed wise rather than trying to emulate what others are doing, it just so happens that my excitement threshold is a bit too high and my sense level pretty much non-existant!

'Existent' - teachers spell correctly!

You have the time!

And Saturday mornings breakfast greeting " You barst'ds, you have all arrived together.... Well you'll just have what your given, I'm on my own you know"

And the shirt tucking in procedure that involved lowering trousers to knees while standing in front of Andy eating breakfast

Theres more, but its much funnier reading it as snippets like this.

[quote="M555ssy"]
And the shirt tucking in procedure that involved lowering trousers to knees while standing in front of Andy eating breakfast
quote]

Who's Andy ?

As if he wasn't scarred enough already

Right !
Where was I ?

Ah yes, dinner is over.
Nobody asked for cheese

We had a few drinks in the bar and then we all retired to bed.
I think Dave was kept awake by the flashing neon sign in his window but otherwise 14 people slept pretty well.

Just before we went to bed, Basil asked us to come down to breakfast between 8:00 and 9:30
and as he would be on his own could we please stagger our arrival .

09:00
EVERYBODY turns up for breakfast

At that point a headless chicken comes into the dining area, my mistake it's Basil.
The greeting (i've just read Dave's post, scroll up if you missed it)
Too busy to set the tables he puts 14 non matching mugs on one table and seemingly 30 + pieces of non matching cutlery.
"just sort yourselves out, i'm too busy"

To avoid even more chaos, Basil appoints Kim as his Breakfast Bitch and we now have a waitress



Suddenly we realise that Adam hasn't come down to join us yet, Lindsay and Kim giggle to themselves.
I knock on Adams door and 5 minutes later he shows up at breakfast

he then shows us some photos of how he found his room when he went to bed.
a 4 foot Panda was waiting for him in his bed and another large friend was in the bathroom,



I'm still unsure as to how much toast came out of that kitchen but i'm sure some there was some guy in robes with a beard dishing it out and he still had two fishes left.
After 30 mins of eating toast, the cooked breakfasts started to arrive via our new Breakfast Bitch.
Nothing too unusual about the fare, Bacon, Beans, Sausage and egg

All apart from Adam's who was given another Prawn Cocktail

You guessed ! It was Adam, I was just trying to protect his identity form the animal rights brigade