Porsche Enthusiasts Club Forum

It is currently Tue Jul 01, 2025 9:02 am
Classic Line Insurance


All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:44 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:26 am
Posts: 76
Location: Brackley, Northants
TIPEC membership: 5163
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

(Apologies to our girls here!!!!)

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Har-dee-har-har!

_________________
Brian

Boxster 2.5 1999
Nissan Note (The runaround!!)


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:49 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 10:55 pm
Posts: 1337
Location: Loughborough, Leics.
TIPEC membership: 4623
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Not at all true however :D

_________________
1982 911 SC, Guards Red
2000 Boxster, Arena Red, Savanna Leather interior, 2.5 Tip S GONE


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:24 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:33 pm
Posts: 268
Location: Norfolk
TIPEC membership: 4869
OMG!....I hate to admit I can identify with that!....Except for the handbag, never owned a handbag in my life

_________________
Therese & Ian
Anglia Region.

Porsche 996 C2
BMW X5


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:53 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 11:33 am
Posts: 1484
Location: The New Forest
TIPEC membership: 928
Skype ID: andrew.fenwick928
I'm saying nothing on this one.................... :D

_________________
All the best
Andrew





928 S4 1991 White/Grey
Cayenne GTS 2009 Black/Black
http://www.holidayhomes4u.com


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re: MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 5:20 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:10 pm
Posts: 165
Location: Solihull
I am posting this from ward 8 at Solihull Hospital. I was kept in over night for observations on my head injury.

Anyway – can I please recommend that no one else shows the first post in this thread to their better half saying ‘how true is this’!! You’d have thought that after 23 years of marriage I would have learnt when to keep my big mouth shut or at least when to duck!! I was always told at school I was a slow learner!!

_________________
Paul

1973 914 1.7 - Signal Orange
1977 VW T2 Westfalia Berlin - Sage Green
1986 911 3.2 Carrera Super Sport Cabriolet - India Red
1992 Suzuki Samurai Sport - Turquoise
Zuffenhaus http://www.zhporsche.co.uk


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group