They are so different in Yorkshire
A small zoo in Barnsley acquired a very rare species of
gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very
difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in season and to make matters worse, there was no male
gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper
thought of Albert Tobytyke, a local lad & part-time worker responsible
for cleaning the animal cages.
Albert, like many Barnsley blokes, felt he had ample ability
to satisfy any female. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a
solution, so Albert was approached with a proposition. Would he be
willing to mate with the gorilla for £500?
Albert showed some interest, but said he would have to think
the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he
would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First up", Albert said, "No kissin’ on’t lips." The
Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Secund", he said, "Tha’ can’t ever tell anybody abaht
this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Thurd", Albert said, "Ah want all’t bairns raised as
Barnsley FC fans." Once again it was agreed.
4. "And last of all", Albert stated, "Tha’s got to gi me
another week to come up wi’ 500 quid”
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