What to you get when a bully crosses a nice person with a Lion…
Someone who doesn’t get picked on
What does a bully do when he sees you have an injury
He’ll cry over it to get salt on the wound
Where do you usually meet bullies
In your Nightmares
Bullies have a lot of fortitude. He'll stand for nearly anything but for a woman on a train
What do bullies and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
How can you tell when a bully is lying?
You can hear them speaking.
Q: How many bullies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. At least 4, plus a victim. One to hire the victim to screw it in for them, a second to supervise the victim, a third to start nit-picking about the way the bulb is being screwed, and a fourth to screw the victim by firing him. They take the credit though none of them actually touched the light bulb.
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
"I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"
Reasons to go to work naked:
No-one ever steals your chair.
Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
You want to see if it's like the dream.
To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.
"I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."
It's an inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.
You can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.