ENGLAND-ENGLAND-ENGLAND

[Andrew]

A seven year old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday
when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge
initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child
custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained
to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed
that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused
to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his
grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After
considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that
domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge
took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should
have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and
confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary
custody to the England Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are
not capable of beating anyone.

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And I'll leave this here!