Porsche Enthusiasts Club Forum

A man bought his wife a coat made from 2,000 hamster skins and she wore it when they went to Blackpool Fairground for the day . . .he couldn't get her off the big wheel...
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A man is sitting in a pub having a drink and nibbling peanuts from a bowl on the bar, when he hears a voice saying: "You look smart, that's a nice suit.''

He looks around but the bar is empty.

Eventually the barman reappears., and the mystified man tells him what happened.

"That would be the peanuts," says the barman. "They're complimentary.''
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TV star Jonathan Ross has been caught shoplifting in Harrods' kitchen department.

The controversial chat show host told police it was a whisk he had to take.
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Man 1: "My wife went out two years ago to get something for the tea and never came back."

Man 2: Oh dear, what did you do?

Man 1: I just opened a tin of beans."

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A man moves into a new flat and invites a few of his friends around for a housewarming drink.

He's got lots of lovely furniture but then one of his friends sees an old hammer hanging on the wall and says, "What's that dirty old hammer doing there?" The man replies: "Oh, that's not a hammer, it's a talking clock. Look, I'll show you."

So he picks up the hammer and starts banging it against the wall, whereupon a voice comes from next door shouting: "Keep it down in there, it's half past bloody ten!"