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Nicked from Honest John BR

HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray, Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle..

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,'Code 3'in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, hebegan to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11. November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'And; last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

i'm off shopping with the wifey shortly, gives me some ideas

Someone give this guy his own TV show - this stuff is great.

This type of behaviour needs encouragement. Tescos in Banbury is full of half wits and miserable b'stards at the best of times, so it needs livening up.

did something like this myself about two years ago out shopping with the missus at lakeside i hate shopping with her at any time,but xmas were are the razor blades!!!!, after about 3-4 hours of torture got to debenhams fourth visit of the day to buy something we had looked at three hours earlier while waiting at checkout again i saw about thirty to forty dancing hissing snakes all lined up and lots of cuddly teddy bears wich all had a button on them saying try me well!! so i did iwalked the whole length of the display and pressed every button the racket was great i kept walking the wife pretended she did not know me i walked off to look at gents clothing the floor manager was not amused, needless to say the journey home was very quite.

this guy deserves a medal