Thanks for the kind words. It means a lot.
So my wife managed to get the cable off, remove the old 924 type mecanism and replace with the newer 944 part. So next is the arms.
I went out today with my business clothes on, so i couldnt do anything, but that was the idea. It gave me a chance to think about what to do, rather than feeling pressured to do anything.
So - the issue now is the sunroof arms side. Here are the arms:
The metal cable seems to connect to the arm itself:
But on the parts i have bought, the cable goes through the sunroof arms mechanism.


What is going on?
I will put the roof back in today and just use the car.