Follow-up; I donned my best wooly hat, overalls, scarf and gloves and took the cam cover off just now. If I was Bruno the Belgian from Brussels looking for something to put on his chips - sorry, pommes frites - then I'd be disappointed. Very disappointed indeed. Everything looked exactly as I would expect with not the slightest hint of anything mayonnaise-y anywhere. Here's a photo:
... and here is a photo of some Belgian chips for good measure. You'll see that Bruno found some Mayonnaise (but not in my engine).
I think I can't fully explain where the smear of mayonnaise on my dipstick comes from but I'm not going to worry about it.
Thanks for your help chaps.
Oli.